After I updated my query letter a couple weeks ago and broke the query advice rules, I have been getting positive rejections for the first time in my eight-year querying history~~
It feels so good to receive a positive compliment in the midst of a rejection, so I decided I would brag about what these agents have said, here and in a separate page.
But, first: What query advice did I ignore? Word limits, paragraph specifications, general ideas of a query letter's simplicity. You need to point out exactly what makes your story stand out. Do whatever you need to do in order to achieve this goal.
I write fantasy, second-world fantasy to be exact. The core pieces of my stories may appear derivative or stereotypical at first glance. And we as readers have been trained to categorize and identify tropes and derivative matter. A query letter is generally a summary. What happens when we summarize? We simplify--and risk pushing our story into the realm of the average or overdone in the mind of a query reader.
I think this is part of what happened in my queries over the last several years. I also just wrote my queries incorrectly, attempting to cover too many pages, as I mentioned in a previous post. Don't do that. And don't follow query letter advice that doesn't suit your subject matter.
At the end of my plot summary, I have a paragraph that is about 1/3 the length of the summary and that details exactly how my writing is different (own voices, disabled character, narration, pacing, etc.) I couldn't go into the truest ways that my story is different because those are themes explored through the course of the book. But, I made sure to point out that mine was not the standard story of a super-powered person fighting for freedom. I believe this difference (in addition to the BLM movement and Covid-19/a possible desire of agents to just be kind) encouraged literary agents to read my sample pages and respond with the wonderful comments that they did.
Now for some bragging!
6/7/2020:
Dear Sierra,
Thank you so much for providing the materials for THE MONSTER WITHIN; I loved the premise of your pitch. I think you have a very interesting story here, but I'm afraid I'm just not connecting with it on the whole in a way that makes me think I'd be the best champion for it, so I am going to have to bow out. Thank you again and I wish you the best of luck in your search for representation. I look forward to seeing where this lands. Best wishes,
Agent Agentia
Thank you, Agent Agentia! <3
6/8/2020
Hi Sierra,
Thanks so much for sending me your manuscript, and for participating in PitMad. I really love this concept; you have such an interesting magical system and so much room for the character to have a powerful arc. Unfortunately, I really struggled to feel hooked by the action itself. So much of the beginning was very internal, and centered around piecing together the world building elements, that it made it hard for me to feel the forward momentum needed to thrust me through the story. As a result, I think this project is ultimately not a fit for my list at this time, but I wish you all the best with this and future projects. I look forward to seeing your work on the shelf one day.
Sincerely,
Agent Agencina
6/9/2020
Dear Sierra, Thank you for submitting! The Monster Within has such an intriguing premise. However, I don't believe I'm the right fit for this. I'm passing, with regrets. It's not a craft issue so much as that gut feeling I rely on when deciding to ask for more. I truly believe another agent will feel differently, so please don't be discouraged. You're very talented, and I wish you all the best in your search for representation. Sincerely,
Agent Ajensum
6/16/2020
Hi Sierra,
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to read your adult high fantasy, The Monster Within, for consideration with XX. Unfortunately, I have to pass on this project, but I'd like to explain why and give some feedback.
I enjoyed your writing and was pulled into the story quickly. You have a great style, alongside an engaging world and fierce characters, and I know, based on this story, that your writing career will continue to flourish as you continue to hone your craft. Where I began to experience difficulty was becoming fully immersed in the story with the 'real time' style. I had difficulty grappling with the characters and felt lost with the motivations of some of the characters, as Arsenal was while she was experiencing the betrayals and changes that were happening to her. As a reader, I depend on flashbacks and emotional ties to help me understand a character's growth and as an editor, I didn't think I could provide the right direction or input to make this story shine more than it already does. That being said, I am only one editor in the industry and I'm positive you'll find the right agent or editor to champion your work.
Thank you so much for trusting me with your work and giving me the chance to be immersed in your world.
Sincerely,
Agent Aygehnt
AND 6/15/2020: the best comment so far!
Hi Sierra,
Apologies for the brevity of this email, but I had a late night reading session and wanted to send this out before heading to sleep. I loved the first 3 chapters of your manuscript. The unreliable nature of Arsenal's memories and the bounty hunters piecemeal information was exceptionally done and intriguing. If it's still available, I'd love to see the full.
Best,
Agent Whoaskedformore
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